Usually when there a question or
problem that arises that I desperately need to know the answer to, I go on the
internet and spend countless hours or even days trying to get an answer. 90% of
the time I don’t get an answer and therefore I have to embark on a journey or
discovering the answer for myself, it’s one of things that happens in life and
you also grow as a person from it. Life would be too easy if all the answers
were given to you on a plate. It would also be boring as well at times.
So here we go, this summer I’m
aiming to develop myself more as a person and digging deeper than ever before
to discover who I really am. I really missed that opportunity before the
relationship and at a very important stage in development in my life. Now it’s
time to go back to that place and retrace and walk the steps that I missed the
first time.
As previously I searched the
internet for these answers on how to discover your ‘self’ and yet it came up
with nothing. Instead I sat down and began to think of what makes up me. I
designed a simple four box diagram which covers the four main aspects/interests
of myself.
This diagram can then be split
diagonally or in half as two boxes can be complimentary for each other. My four
boxes where ‘Natural’ ‘Creative’ ‘Scientific/Question’ and ‘Performance’ or
something like that. To combine two boxes we can have natural and scientific or
we can have creative and performance. I can write creatively and turn it into a
sketch for performance or I can be interested in natural aspects which can take
on a scientific way. Or even nature can be creative, you get the idea I hope.
These four boxes are each connected which forms a circle. One box can complement
the rest of them and therefore overall creates the whole of ‘me’. By combining
two boxes you can form two sides of yourself. My two sides would be ‘Creative’
and ‘Scientific’ which leads back to my old age problem of being two total
(almost) opposites; both my right side of the brain and my left side of the
brain. I find it extremely difficult to balance the two. Most of the time I’m
scientific and I think regularly with my left side but there are times that I
want to break free and balance this with a sense of freedom, a sense of
creativity.
For example, take the poster of
Mercedes Benz > https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvMpeKFHBrnLT4Z5-35GsBnuTotL0TJH1mQVzuUat4mrUIqjf0BSgEfLA42jVEQxhawJAxCSGiy0VbmNKLEhvr-3C1sU_LO46K-DmdNOHWkFuEMIG4qcC5mukTv9YAOifazZxsdmXwcuGJ/s1600/left+brian+right+brain+mercedes.jpg
For the left side, it says “I
know exactly who I am”, for the right
“Everything I wanted to be”. For such a scientific person as myself, it’s hard
to even know who I am and even more difficult to find and discover who I am.
Therefore I’m lead to believe that everyone needs the right side of the brain
to discover themselves through creativity and art, through thought and through
feelings. We sometimes need to have the left to make practical choices and to
push forward, but we also need the right to have feelings and passion to drive
that development forward.
In the end, for summer 2012, to
really get to know myself is to really know and pick up on what my likes,
dislikes, interests, and passions lie. When thinking about this, there are many
sites that allow you to type in these things as well as a personal biography.
Maybe this isn’t just for other people to see who you are, but maybe it’s there
to make you really think and evaluate were you currently are in life, to yet
again update the changes of who you are. I’m joining another site though just
to do this but instead I’ll just sit down and think and write about it instead.
It won’t happen overnight and I’m sure it’ll continue far longer than summer,
maybe even for the rest of my life but even if we just get something sorted
out, I’m sure it’ll start me off in the right direction.
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