So how was my year? Well judging by my posts, it was ‘ok’. In fact, looking back on the previous year when I was at my most saddest or I was going through a tough time, I wrote more about how I felt and about the world around me. I promised myself to finish a Moleskine by the end of 2010 and I did, but I finished it in June/July. However, when I tried to start another one, I promised myself to write at least every other day so that by now I would have finished another one (I haven’t). Judging on that, it seems that the second half of my year seemed to be better on the emotional front but rather bleak on the creative and writing front which in turn, makes me rather sad. I’ve tried adopting different ways to storm up that motivation and determination to write things such as reading the Kenneth Williams Diaries which I’m still reading actually and I’m only on the year 1952 at the moment so I’ve got about 90% till to go. I’ve tried to watch programmes that would spur me on, which worked. The programmes which gives me the most motivation are those which include the dramatisation of comedians of the 60’s/70’s/80’s. It gives me that little spark. A spark of inspiration.
This year I’ve had a hundred ideas for short and long stories. For poems, lyrics, and comedy sketches. But have I bothered to write them down? Not really no, but I remind myself every so often about these ideas but I never get round to doing it. I have plenty of time to so it but bugger me if I’ve got the motivation to do it.
There’s plenty of positives for 2010. I passed my driving test first time, got sound grades for As levels, turned 18 and had a few too many experiences being drunk. Is that a positive thing? I also got myself a part-time job which involves receiving free booze.
There has also been negatives such as not seeing my boyfriend for well over a year, my mum hasn’t been well all year, I haven’t been writing much in the second half of the year, and I’ve spent most of my time doing nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. Just sitting around going over the same old websites every 5 minutes.
But we all know what to do at the start of the New Year. Yes, that’s right! We make resolutions!
What are my resolutions then? Well it’s hard to say when 2011 will be the year in which decisions will be with other people. These people will have to decide my future. Do I go to university? Do I go to tech for another two years? The decision is partially based on myself because I’m the one who has to work hard to get good results but even then, universities are being inundated with students which have good grades and you can’t really begin to pick anyone apart. The decision is in their hands and it’s rather daunting.
Besides all that,
• I shall work hard in 2011 for my exams whether I like it or not.
• I will enjoy things the most I can. Meaning I will go out with my friends more often and have fun.
• I will write as much as I can whether I like it or not.
• I will eat as healthy as possible, but not be a health freak.
• I will blog as often as I can.
• I will begin to live life as I head off into the big wide world by myself, and perhaps, a few others for good measure, and to hold my hand with when I get scared.
Now I shall finish this post with a little something by the great ABBA.
Sometimes I see
How the brave new world arrives
And I see how it thrives
In the ashes of our lives
Oh yes, man is a fool
And he thinks he'll be okay
Dragging on, feet of clay
Never knowing he's astray
Keeps on going anyway...
Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend
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